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The Beauty of Kindness
Aug 18, 2010

My last article dealt with the various aspects of romantic love. However, value comes in many forms and so does the emotional payment, love. Acts of kindness are pleasant in many aspects and many of the world's...

Love is...
Jun 01, 2010

My answer is that love is... Contemplation. Many would tell you that love is something beautiful and powerful. They might tell you that it is inexplicable and entirely irrational. They would be right on some...

What is it going to take to get the planet back on course?
May 19, 2010

The problem really is crime, isn't it? It doesn't matter whether it's legal crime, as committed by government agents, or whether it's crimes committed by communal garden scumbags. Before we can enjoy the truly peaceful...

Starving Artists - Making Money from your Creativity
May 07, 2010

There are different forms of intelligence. Creativity and artistic abilities are excellent indicators of intelligence. But earning a living as an artist is difficult, especially given today's economic issues worldwide...

I Yam What I Yam
Apr 23, 2010

Who I am ain't nothing of what I am. Who I am, is who you see. Who you see isn't anything of what is me. I am me because I choose to be I am me Because I choose to be. I be the best of what I can be. You don't...

Too Good to Be True
Apr 13, 2010

For too long, our society has been tainted by this adage... this taboo of good things. Why, oh why, is this? A product of our psyche? A product of shared cultural values? Or, is it really undeniably true? We see a...

Our Mother
Apr 11, 2010

Our mother... the dawn of man Our mother Climb my eye upon her many breasts. Succulent are her up most tops. White mothers milk, Which gives us life, Pouring upon her belly we graze upon. Her bottom lips,...

BDSM in Second Life
Apr 02, 2010

When I first joined Second Life (SL), I was like most noobies and started searching different places using the search tool within the browser. I stated finding things that were more than dance clubs and places to live....

Our Most Dangerous Pandemic
Mar 29, 2010

Every act of communication - or non-communication - is a choice of influence. The essayist is confronted with a peculiar difficulty: he will have time to consider how he wants to influence others - which means, how he...

Sci-Fi Fantasies
Mar 25, 2010

I've been a lifelong artist and these days, most of my work is inspired by roleplay characters, sci-fi or fantasy novels and films, and my love of Star Wars . My dream is to become a science fiction/fantasy illustrator....
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The definition of integrity
Sep 10, 2010

Can a person strive to be something that he doesn't understand? Take integrity: are you a person of integrity? If so, how do you know? Is integrity always associated with virtue, or is integrity amoral? Does the code of...

The pursuit of happiness
Sep 09, 2010

Ayn Rand said in Atlas Shrugged : "Happiness is the successful state of life, pain is an agent of death. Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one’s values. A morality that...

What men are made of - 'ifs'
Sep 08, 2010

Robert LeFevre is said "If men are good, you don't need government; if men are evil or ambivalent, you don't dare have one." What is it that makes a good man? What are the aspirations of a good man? Does Rudyard Kipling...

Buying and selling sex
Sep 07, 2010

Sex sells. Every advertiser knows this. As human beings, it's a natural desire. There is nothing inherently wrong with sex as it leads to the continuation of humanity. Sex can allow someone without other skills to earn...

Government charity and welfare
Sep 06, 2010

H.L. Mencken once wrote "Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." This is an amazing story about Davy Crockett and how he learned what it means to uphold your principles. Why are charity and war...

The war against boys
Sep 05, 2010

Christina Hoff Sommers wrote in her book The War Against Boys: How Misguided Feminism Is Harming Our Young Men that "it's a bad time to be a boy." Certainly, government curriculums in schools is misguided and flawed....

Starving cancer with food
Sep 04, 2010

Cancer. I hate this disease. My sister was diagnosed with it at about age 5. She, along with my mother, father, and I, spent the next 16 years in and out of hospitals getting treatments that, arguably, were sometimes...

Big Brother is watching you
Sep 03, 2010

The statist argument is always the same: "If you have nothing to hide, why do you care?" The government can attach a GPS device to your car and monitor your movements, and it's perfectly legal. And now they can x-ray...

America's lights are going out
Sep 02, 2010

Atlas Shrugged was not intended to be an instruction manual. Ayn Rand talked through Francisco d'Anconia about what it took to kill the motor of the world: "He stepped to the window and pointed to the skyscrapers of...

Thorium - energy's silver bullet
Sep 01, 2010

Nuclear energy was discovered in the context of war (specifically World War II). In the 1950s, the US Air Force tried to come up with an idea of putting a nuclear reactor on an airplane to keep it running. They...
Test to See if You Are Ready to Have Children
from Braincrave staff
Jun 13, 2009
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MESS TEST
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.
TOY TEST

Obtain a 55-gallon box of LEGOs (or you may substitute roofing tacks). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake a child at night.

...sing every song you have ever heard... Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
GROCERY STORE TEST
Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.
DRESSING TEST

Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.
FEEDING TEST

Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.
NIGHT TEST

Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00 p.m. begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 p.m. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 p.m. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00 a. m. Set alarm for 5:00 a.m. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
INGENUITY TEST

Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and a piece of foil. Last, take a milk carton, a Ping-Pong ball, and an empty box of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.
AUTOMOBILE TEST

Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a dime. Stick it into the cassette player. Take a family size package of chocolate chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There, perfect.
PHYSICAL TEST (Women)

Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans.
PHYSICAL TEST (Men)

Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.
FINAL ASSIGNMENT

Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.
Regretfully, the author is unknown.

MESS TEST
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

TOY TEST

Obtain a 55-gallon box of LEGOs (or you may substitute roofing tacks). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake a child at night.

...sing every song you have ever heard... Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
GROCERY STORE TEST
Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

DRESSING TEST

Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.

FEEDING TEST

Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

NIGHT TEST

Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00 p.m. begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 p.m. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 p.m. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00 a. m. Set alarm for 5:00 a.m. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

INGENUITY TEST

Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and a piece of foil. Last, take a milk carton, a Ping-Pong ball, and an empty box of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.

AUTOMOBILE TEST

Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a dime. Stick it into the cassette player. Take a family size package of chocolate chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There, perfect.

PHYSICAL TEST (Women)

Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans.

PHYSICAL TEST (Men)

Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

FINAL ASSIGNMENT

Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

Regretfully, the author is unknown.

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