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Many would tell you that love is something beautiful and powerful. They might tell you that it is inexplicable and entirely irrational. They would be right on some accounts. Love is a very powerful response that can make life quite beautiful. But, love is not at all irrational or inexplicable.

To fall in love is to recognize in another the values that one holds most dear in himself

How would you define love? To fall in love is to recognize in another the values that one holds most dear in himself. Love is not worship of some higher being than oneself. Nor is love a charity which one bestows on a lesser creature. It is a glance, the recognition of an equal.

"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." - Emily Brontë

What then is required for love to blossom, if you will? First, man must possess the values by which he will judge himself and his beloved. Then, he must live his life according to these values. A man who holds values which he does not implement in his life would not be capable of love. He would have no self-esteem. Nothing to offer in the emotional trade that is love. One must therefore have a reason to trade (the values that he possesses) and the means to carry out the interaction (his own self) in order to be a lover. If man is self-made, he must first make himself before he ever hopes to exchange anything with another successfully.

It is one thing to fall in love and quite another to actively love a person. One may very well recognize the necessary values in another, but then turn the other direction and run. Again, only the man of self-esteem may say, "this is me and I recognize you."

So, if all of these requirements are met, what must a man do once he has found his beloved? Love is an emotional payment for a value received from the beloved. Essentially, one takes from his beloved by comprehending and contemplating his goodness and gives automatically by bestowing his affection. Therefore, it is through contemplation of the beloved that one actively loves. Love is not something mystical or inexplicable. It begins with a willful decision to love and is carried out through rational contemplation from which action will inevitably follow. All of the small acts one associates with lovers (flowers, cards, pet names, etc.) are like symptoms of one glorious disease.

It is easy to see how one may love from afar… and how such a love would be unfulfilling and almost torturous. The lover craves his beloved's attention and sanction thus. Indeed, though one makes a rational decision to love, the response may be almost automatic. A reaction to something as personal as one's values often takes a forefront in one's life. This leads to the exhilarating feeling of being swept away.

The ideal situation consists of both lovers interacting in this way. Each receives a spiritual value from the other and gives an emotional payment. Friendships may carry on in the same manner, of course, but are often based on more shallow bonds such as shared experiences or interests. It is only when a man's deepest values are concerned that he may fall in love. It is only when he recognizes the most precious part of himself in another that this sort of bond may exist. Contemplation of the best within both man and his lover is the constant recognition that love demands of man. It is the labor required to earn one of the sweetest rewards.


Original posting by AnnaLarie on Jun 1, 2010 at http://www.braincrave.com/viewblog.php?id=218

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We all admire beauty, but the mind ultimately must be stimulated for maximum arousal. Longevity in relationships cannot occur without a meeting of the minds. And that is what Braincrave is: a dating venue where minds meet. Learn about the thoughts of your potential match on deeper topics... topics that spawn your own insights around what you think, the choices you make, and the actions you take.

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